tap tap
“Bloody switches don’t work on this thing- Rick! Fix your microphone!”
-“But sir, it’s already on.”
“Wh- OH FUDGE TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF”
Technical Difficulties: Please Stand By
“Okay… ahem Sorry for the uh- thing. Those responsible have been sacked.”
-muffled cursing comes from the background
“Ignore that. Let’s get on with the scheduled program. 3. 2. 1.”
Welcome dear Recruits to the United Hero Foundation! Federation? Force? Whatever. This is a part of the various broadcasts we will be hosting in order to better train you for your career in fending off the evil Henpire. Starting off with today’s topic: Intergalactic Locations! Ray? Your time to shine.
Greetings! Welcome to this seemingly random place in the vast universe! Don’t worry, you won’t be stuck here for too long.
All of you are probably dispatched near a solar system right now, floating outside/inside, depending on how drunk your nav system is. See those/that planet(s)? You should start off by docking to one. All UHF ships are equipped with a handy dandy EasyDock™ system that lets you dock to a location at the push of a button! Simply click on the location you want to dock to, and press ‘Enter Orbit’ and enjoy the ride.
Well done! You’ll be doing this a lot from now on, so hope you don’t suffer from motion sickness. Planets are the most common location you’ll be docking to, as they have missions you can complete. We’ll cover that later, but you can also check the tutorial system for a general idea.
See this little droplet icon? That’s your Fuel. Fuel is necessary for travelling across the entire universe, and can either be purchased from the Galactic Store or a Gus’ Gas station.
Gus’ Gas sells fuel at affordable prices, meaning that you can save a lot of money by shopping at their gas stations and travel to more places! Speaking of travelling, let’s explore our surroundings.
Let’s start by visiting a star system adjacent to you.
The Fuel droplets indicates the fuel necessary to travel to the location. Fuel is only consumed when you travel to other solar systems, feel free to zip around planet to planet! The ruler icon indicates the distance of the path, and the clock indicates the time taken to complete the journey.
Some planets will have lightning crackling around them, appear really hot, or vice versa. These planets require proper equipment to dock into, which you probably don’t have for now.
What’s this? A Space Burger? I- Be right back. …What do you mean I can’t go there? We can put ad breaks, right? No? Screw you.
ahem
The Space Burger restaurants can be found all across the galaxy. Do try out their chicken wings, their burgers are also to die for metaphorically. Unfortunately as you’re a recruit, lunch breaks are frowned upon.
Due to video game logic, all chickens you defeat turn into food you can collect. No, don’t eat that. Instead, you can sell your food to the Space Burger and they will pay you handsomely for it. Seriously, put that burger down. No eating right now. Not that one either. No food on the job.
Ah, the Heroes Academy. All that time spent being yelled at by teachers and having your lunch thrown away by that one jock was worth it. Did you know: The Academy is also a certified dealership for spacecraft upgrades? They also authorize you for harder missions at a fee, but you’re a long way from that level.
Madam Madamme tents are home to the finest galactic oracles because they’re the only ones. At a fee, she will give you insights on things such as what formation the enemies will take next, when a power-up will expire, which enemies are most wanted, are carrying the most keys, or the stock market. She also has clearance to sell Squadron Licenses and Off-road Licenses for some reason, but for the sake of your own sanity do not question.
On your way across the galaxy, you may come across asteroid belts. While there aren’t chickens here, you can do a little clean up and get rewarded for it. While it’s not recommended, you can be risky and try to earn some pretty big style points.
Some asteroid belts may also look like this. You need a heat shield to be able to fly safely in these areas. Note: In case you crash, the UHF does not pay for insurance. You must cover all repair expenses yourself, because we’re a bunch of capitalistic fu- [bleeeeeeeeeeeeeep]
muffled screeching
“We are sorry for the technical difficulties during this broadcast. Those responsible have been sacked.”
-“So I’m supposed to be replacing him?”
“Yes.”
-“Alright…”
This is a Heroware store, if the big white logo wasn’t obvious enough. These stores sell parts for your ships, as well as selling ships themselves at a much, much cheaper price than the Galactic market. If you find one, tell them Ash said hi for an instant ban depending on the dealership. These shops are very useful in your journey as a recruit, as they also sell rare versions of equipment which are much more powerful than your normal variants but also more expensive.
Aha, now this station. This station is going to be your most visited place depending on your skill. Or if you own a heavy bomber. Aftermarkets sell perishables, addons, HUD software upgrades, or just some music or visual enhancing devices that alter the vast looks of space to look more stylish. (Note: No, this doesn’t actually alter space. It’s more like a visual filter.)
You can also dock at stars, though you need proper safety equipment on your ship to do so, namely a Heat Shield and a Gravity Nullifier. You may also find some binary star systems, which look like this:
Pretty, isn’t it? Now, before we move onto further- Wait, what the heck is that?
I-I’m getting drawn closer to it. Why aren’t the thrusters working, why aren’t the thrusters working?!
HEL-
static
End of broadcast.